Severed Synapse
I wear myself inside out. My mask is hidden; my thoughts scriven mysteriously in code. Sleep returns me to my origins. I fall, resisting, afraid to let go.
I get up and it’s yesterday, dreary and inexact. Memories come together and instantly fall apart. I am unbuttoned from the brain down.
All those rituals, the names and places, surrounding me lost and confused. No one can count them. No one can say when or how they disappeared.
completely unfilled,
outlines stand centered between
never and not now
For Colleen’s Tanka Tuesday, a haibun using synonyms for sad and write. The top artwork is actually part of the stitching for a totally different project. It’s done on iridescent plastic paper, and the scan makes it look brain-like I think. The collage above I did awhile ago, but it also seemed to fit.
The mind is a delicate balancing act, always.
33 responses to “Severed Synapse”
Trackbacks / Pingbacks
- September 8, 2018 -
- October 27, 2020 -
What a vivid depiction of difficult experiences. Your words have a searing honesty and the collage is so poignant.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Suzanne. It’s difficult, both for those experiencing it and those who want to help.
LikeLike
mmmm – I woke up thinking about what you are going through. Sending love to everyone involved in it. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you.
LikeLike
Vivid imagination, Memad and a beautiful poem.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. Unfortunately, too many people do not imagine their mind’s malfunctions. It’s hard to experience both from inside and out.
LikeLike
Welcome and yes absolutely true and agree totally with your words.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow. Powerful!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Jodi.
LikeLike
The mind is definitely a balancing act, especially when its thrown off balance. The collage is so immediate and a bit unnerving. A fish out of water.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Olga. Before I moved last spring, I was working on some collages inspired by Paul Klee’s angel series. I found this when I was looking for something else among the still-unpacked boxes the other day. Klee’s images are definitely unnerving–many were done when he knew he was dying.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I took a look at Paul Klee’s “Poor Angel” created a year before he died, to see what you were referring to. Definitely unnerving.
LikeLiked by 1 person
They are.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’ve described so well in verse that unmoored feeling, the fitful, unfilled or unfulfilled moments gathered hazy-brained, and “unbuttoned from the brain down.” (Wonderful phrase.) It made me feel anxious just reading it!
That stitching does look like some sort of neuron thing.
LikeLiked by 1 person
There is definitely a lot of anxiety from all sides when memory is disturbed. Thanks Merril.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Unbuttoned from the brain down… What a wonderful image. There is so much inside your words. I can’t stop reading and re-reading. Absolutely fabulous Haibun poem. WOW!! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks Colleen, again, for the sparks that inspire.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You are most welcome. ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
This really is a fabulous, Haibun.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Robbie.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I read I Never Promise You a Rose Garden and saw the movie. I also worked with a recovered schizophrenia colleague. He was a painter. He painted when he was in the mental hospital. He showed me all the paintings from the beginning of hospitalization to being discharged. It was an eye-opening experience to look inside a mad person’s brain through his paintings and the progression of his brain through the treatment journey.
I appreciate all the words in your haibun. I could see what it looks like when unbuttoned from the brain down. What a vivid image of a disturbed brain. Well done!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Miriam. There are so many ways the brain can malfunction. We don’t appreciate enough the ordinary things it enables us to do until we see when it can’t do them.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so true. Not every brain is malfunction. Some may be born with it, but there are so many things happen in our journey. Even President Reagan lost the brain function 10 years before he was gone physically. My mom had her share for 4 years.
Thank you for your post!
LikeLiked by 1 person
My mom, and now my aunt with Alzheimer’s. Hard to lose the person you knew.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I know. My mom lost the speech. Her eyes lit up when she saw me. Hope that was a sign that she recognized me. She passed away 10 years ago.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Still with us though…
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I know…
LikeLiked by 1 person
A brain overflowing.
LikeLike
Over and under in all directions.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Absolutely stunning imagery, and bravo on the graphics! This haibun needs reading over and over again!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you Wendy!
LikeLike