The Ways of Self-Salvation 2
Demanding patience, spirit grows deep–
nourished and carried near to the heart.
Waiting, waiting, my soul for to keep–
shadows breathing and falling apart.
Nourished and carried near to the heart–
the third eye opens, window and mirror.
Shadows breathing and falling apart–
beginning is singing, ending is near.
The third eye opens, window and mirror–
the ripeness growing, large and complete.
Beginning is singing, ending is near–
emptying follows, head and then feet
The ripeness growing, large and complete–
rocking inside a musical voice.
Emptying follows, head and then feet–
atoms laughing in naked warm noise.
Rocking inside a musical voice–
no thoughts to speak, no dreams to word.
Atoms laughing in naked warm noise–
diving like oceans, skying like birds.
No thoughts to speak, no dreams to word–
demanding patience, spirit grows deep.
Diving like oceans, skying like birds–
waiting, waiting, my soul for to keep.
I don’t normally post twice in the same day, but Jane Dougherty’s pantoum, “It was not a night like this”, reminded me a lot of this one I wrote last year, which was based on a poem I wrote a very long time ago.
I’m also linking it to the dVerse narrative prompt, although I too am not sure it is exactly what Bjorn is looking for.
It’s very dreamy, surreal. Did you ever see the Lathe of Heaven that was on PBS years and years ago? For some reason, this made me think of that. 🙂
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I didn’t see it but I like the association–thanks. Bjorn mentioned the dream aspect too. Sometimes the actual and the imagined are hard to tell apart.
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Yes–perhaps that’s what I was sensing.
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The repetition of ‘feet’ seems very daring to me, it’s such an unpoetic body part, and it’s such a good line! I love the feel of the plunge and soar in this, and the illustration is beautiful, like an insubstantial being diving into or rising from the ocean.
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Of course you are right about feet. But it’s a very crisp word too, which works as contrast I think. I did the illustration awhile ago too, and have been waiting for the right words. But they were there all along.
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It was exactly that, the contrast, that I liked.
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I like it… and actually many stories are very circular as I think yours are… in a way like a dream, leaving returning… like falling asleep then awakening.
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Thanks Bjorn. As I told Jane I think the pantoum is a perfect form for telling a story.
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Qh, I like a phantom, but they are tricky to pull off. This flows really naturally, and the repetition does give it a dreamy quality.
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What a piece of art
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Lovely!!
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Thanks Jodi!
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You do have a way with a pantoum! Lovely.
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Thanks Ken. You know what they say about practice…
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Wonderful story told in pantoum form. Well done.
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Thank you. Can’t get enough of pantoums these days.
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A romantic view of the spiritual life, and I like the emphasis on “waiting, waiting…” Certainly there is a music to that action/non-action.
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Thank you. It’s interesting for me to see the different interpretations of my words. I’m glad I didn’t talk about how the poem originated. Waiting is definitely a big piece of it, and certainly applies to anything spiritual. Music as well.
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Nice phrase: “my soul for to keep.”
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From my childhood prayers. Thanks Frank.
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The first image feels like the human soul ascending with heavenly wings. 🙂
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Thanks Olga…I like that interpretation.
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