It’s 4 am and I’m wearing a blue raincoat (after Leonard Cohen)

blue raincoat comp 2

It’s 4 in the morning, almost December–
each day I return to you hoping you’re better,
New York is a hospital, dying and living,
machines full of numbers, the music of beeping—

Do you dream of your house with its ceilings and stairs?
Are you living inside it now, making unseen repairs?

As your past comes by full of stories and tears,
what you gave what you feared–
all the things left unsaid…
drowning in the unsaid—

Now each day is the first and the last and the always,
no masks to uncover, disguise what the time plays–

We come and we stay and we go meeting only ourselves,
spending fortunes and throwing them away like wishes in wells—

You hand us no thoughts and your eyes gaze beyond,
skipping dreams through the air like stones on a pond—

I see you there still breathing harshly with pain,
what abides, what remains–
will we waken or sleep?
to release or to keep—

Oh what can I tell you, what can I tell you,
what can I possibly say?
All the sorrows forgiven, lost tomorrows now riven,
our lives intersected and frayed…

All is circling round to the center of you–
you can be who you need to be now without fearing the truth—

And thanks for the gifts that you didn’t intend–
thread to bind and to mend—lives I didn’t expect—

And the years collapse spilling stories and tears,
nothing left now to fear–
all the words disappear…


Inspired by William Edouard Scott (above) and Leonard Cohen.  The responses to Scott’s painting (which immediately brought to my mind Cohen’s “Famous Blue Raincoat”),  can be read here, at The Ekphrastic Review.  My thanks to Lorette C. Luzajic for selecting my poem for publication.

br close up s

Also linking to dVerse, “The Art of Confession”.


The mandala was photographed wet (left) and after drying (right).  The mystery and surprises of watercolor.

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About memadtwo

For more madness, follow me on Instagram @h_zimel methodtwomadness is a blog of two friends, Nina and Kerfe kblog is Kerfe's solo branch on the tree

54 responses to “It’s 4 am and I’m wearing a blue raincoat (after Leonard Cohen)”

  1. Sabio Lantz says :

    fascinating — not sure if fiction or personal, though

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) says :

    What a wonderful poem filled with wonderful lines … the first stanza is great and pulls me in to the scene of having to care for someone who needs you (and cannot care about you)… made me think of Sylvia Plath’s “Daddy”

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Suzanne says :

    Gosh. This cuts to the bone. You have voiced something I have experienced but have never been able to put into words. The blue raincoat at 4am encapsulates the unspoken ache that filled my heart during that time. Thank you for your poetic wisdom.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. rivrvlogr says :

    The moments we least desire offer inspiration we can’t refuse.
    Here, you have a way of taking us deep into those moments. I welcome the words, while feeling the sorrow. Deeply.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. robtkistner says :

    Great piece from some great inspiration!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Claudia McGill says :

    This is truly beautiful. Affecting.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. charlotteash says :

    I love this! And congrats! 🥂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Beverly Crawford says :

    Your words spoke to me of “the long goodbye”, words left unsaid with no longer an opportunity to be spoken, only memories relived. A beautiful poem.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. msjadeli says :

    such a poignant hub for a larger picture left unspoken but felt. skillfully rendered

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Janice says :

    A moving poem.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Violet Lentz says :

    Achingly beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Jodi says :

    Wow – words that are so moving and such movement in those gorgeous colors – I am moved.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Grace says :

    I recall times like these in the hospital room, waiting for some agonizing news. Good one and congrats on the publication.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. scorpio1987Sajal says :

    Nice post ❤ amazing pics!

    Do check my blogs on

    Liked by 1 person

  15. sanaarizvi says :

    Gosh this is beautifully evocative and resonates on a deeper level! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Sharon Mann says :

    I’m glad this poem was added toThe Ekphrastic Review. I understand these words intimately.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. anmol(alias HA) says :

    What an intriguing verse! I love how you create a personal myth around the subject and the relationship that thus exists in this scenario. How the confession unravels in short lines, questions, proclamations, et al. makes it so much fun to read through it. Loved this bit in particular:
    “Now each day is the first and the last and the always,
    no masks to uncover, disguise what the time plays–”

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Frank Hubeny says :

    Nice description of place: “New York is a hospital, dying and living,”

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Lindsay says :

    This is haunting. From “all the things left unsaid… drowning in the unsaid” to “all the words disappear.” Beautifully written.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. merrildsmith says :

    Wow–Kerfe. This poem is amazing, so personal feeling and filled with sorrow and questions. And more circles. That final stanza!
    It is like a Leonard Cohen song in itself. Congratulations!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Olga says :

    Singing the blues with your art and poetic talent. Powerful post, Kerfe. Enjoyed seeing how your art transforms when it dries.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Jane Dougherty says :

    This is lovely, tender and intense and doesn’t make me think of Sylvia Plath for one second.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. D. Wallace Peach says :

    Another stunning paintings and poem post. I love the lines: “We come and we stay and we go meeting only ourselves, spending fortunes and throwing them away like wishes in wells—” Wonderful

    Liked by 1 person

  24. kestrelart says :

    Thank you
    One of my favourite ever posts.
    I love Cohens song, but your reworking made it more personal for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Imelda says :

    Lovely piece.

    Liked by 1 person

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